rob vincent dot net

[SOL]

(Joel is fitting Crow for a red jumpsuit; Tom is nearby serving as a pincusion.)

Crow: (stuck with a pin) Ow! Jeez!

Joel: Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, pal. I've been so distracted. I just keep thinking about that slick gas station in today's movie. Did you notice how sleek and beautiful it was?

Tom: (laughing) Ah, gee, Joel, can't say that I did. (under breath) Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo....

Joel: Hey, c'mon, I'm serious. There existed a time when our nation took pride in its service stations. They gleamed like a beacon of hope from coast to coast. Then, ka-blooey, Sky Chief Super Service turned into the Tank and Tummy. I don't mind telling you, the day this country went self-service was the day Hell began to bubble up and flood the earth.

Crow: Well, I hate to burst your bubble, Joel, but what about the bubonic plague? World war? Stalin?

Joel: Well, those are all big things. Hell works better when it's a lot more subtle. Here, I'll give you an example. Okay, Crow, what do you think of Adolf Hitler?

Crow: Well, I hate him, naturally.

Joel: Right. Now, what do you think of the band Styx?

Crow: Well, they had one or two decent... Oh my God, you're right!

Tom: I get it now, Joel! I'm not certain when Hell started for me, but I think it has something to do with Christopher Cross.

Joel: Yeah, well, remember the time when Charley Weaver died, and it wasn't even in the papers?

Crow: Or when they eighty-sixed Jarts.

Tom: I think the first time Flo said, "Kiss my grits", something inside all of us withered and died.

Crow: Using Joe Camel to sell cigarettes to kids seems like a pretty ripe slice of Hell.

Joel: I agree with that. And then there was the time Denis Leary released No Cure For Cancer as an album. And then the time Vicki Lawrence won a Grammy for The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia.

Tom: I know I stand alone on this, but the day Blansky's Beauties got cancelled.

Crow: Yeah, you stand alone on that. Sinbad's pretty icky.

Joel: Yeah, what about the Charlene Tilton work-out video?

Tom: Joel, what chance do we have in a world that keeps presenting us with vivid images of Hell?

Joel: Well, there's personal liberty, strength of conviction, those have been known to work... Then there's the time the country rallies together to beat back Hell, like the time we as a nation said no to Yahoo Serious.

Crow: I remember that, all of us, together, drawn inexplicably to the slobbering mouth of Hell, and then suddenly, somehow, by some unknown force, rescued in the nick of time like Moses and the Israelites.

Tom: Now, who in creation is powerful enough to do that?

Crow: (in a deep, Goliath voice) Gee, Davey, do you think it was God?

Joel: (with pins in mouth) We'll be right back. (Hits commercial button & continues fitting Crow)

Crow: (stuck again) Ah!

(cut)

e

Notacon was 31 flavors of awesome.

I returned home yesterday afternoon and just crashed and decompressed from it all. I'll give things a better writeup soon.

Amazon.com seems to suddenly disapprove of gay things, removing the sales rankings from certain gay books whilst leaving their heterosexual counterparts alone.

For those unfamiliar with Amazon.com, they're that company who named themselves after a legendary race of isolated, cohabitating warrior women.

ETA: Neil Gaiman weighs in on the situation.

Best belated holiday wishes, where applicable.

Sometimes, in the interest of personal sanity, you just have to pull back from life, and let the world and all its drama happen around you for a bit. To this end I spent the weekend offline, choosing to take my mind off things with a combination of meditation, video games, British scifi, and a few phone calls.

In other news, who's going to Notacon? I am I am!

I'm very much looking forward to this trip, for many reasons. It'll be Nicky's and my monthly date. I'll get to catch up with friends I don't see in RL nearly enough, if at all. One or more of my Off the Hook co-conspirators will be in attendance. The con's talks and other events contain much that I cannot wait to see and do. The road trip out there promises to be an adventure in itself. And most importantly, I just really need a freaking vacation right about now.

Has anyone out there been to Cleveland? If you know of anything particularly interesting I should do out there, please share.

Extremely belated afterthought: I wonder if there's anyone about who'd be willing to loan me a video camera within the next couple of days.

Dear producers, cast, and crew of the American knockoff of Life on Mars, the finale of which I just watched,

May I please have those goddamned 12 hours and 45 minutes of my life back? I could have been collecting stamps, or shopping for socks.

Thanks in advance,

-- Rob

No apologies for the April Fool's episode of Off the Hook. This was an absolute blast to do, and I think everyone involved did an awesome job. If several rounds of frightened, confused, and amused responses are any indication, mission accomplished! If you haven't listened yet, I highly recommend checking it out.

Speaking of hacker talk radio and mischief, here's a brilliant Off the Hook-related stunt which was pulled on me last month. Way back on March 4th, we reported on a woman who was suing Facebook because a group of her peers were saying nasty things about her in a Facebook group; for example, suggesting that she "engages in bestiality and contracted AIDS." We were going back and forth over the issue, playing a bit of devil's advocate, as we do. Whilst pondering what I would do in such a situation, I flippantly blurted out "well, I'm not about to go home and pre-emptively register 'Rob T Firefly engages in bestiality and contracted AIDS dot com.'"

Of course, someone else did. (Despite the URL, that site is SFW and hilarious, though I imagine the domain name itself might raise a few eyebrows in your job's system logs.)

The responsible party or parties did come forward, but I won't name them unless they choose to out themselves. I'll only say they're brilliant, they made me laugh harder than I had in a long time just when I really needed to, and I'm totally honored by the gag!

They were even kind enough to give me an email forwarder on it; if you send anything to rob@ that domain, it will in fact reach me.