Rob's blog of posts

A factorial meme, swiped from a few Livejournals…

TEN things to say to ten people:

• Thank you for being you.
• Welcome to the world!
• I’m totally happy I met you.
• It is really wacky how cool we are, considering how much you used to intimidate me.
• Were you still around, I tend to think you’d approve.
• I really hope what I’ve heard about you isn’t true, but I don’t really see how it can’t be.
• If you could see yourself the way the world sees you, you’d have zero worries.
• I miss the hell out of you.
• I wake up every day thankful that I don’t live in the world you seem to believe we all do.
• I don’t associate with you because of who you hang out with, I really do like you.

NINE things about yourself:

• I’m somebody’s uncle.
• I’m left-handed.
• I paint pictures.
• I’m on the radio.
• I will soon be seeking new employment.
• I will still somehow make it to Shmoocon.
• I’ve never had a driver’s license.
• If my socks match each other, I don’t feel properly dressed.
• I like that my beard has more grey hairs in it every time I check, and oddly enough a few reddish ones as well.

EIGHT ways to win your heart:

• Laugh with me.
• Be intelligent.
• Teach me something new.
• Learn something new with me.
• Appreciate the absurd.
• Be honest with me, and with yourself.
• Be snuggly.
• Be proud of who and what you are.

SEVEN things that cross your mind often:

• How can I fix this?
• WTF?
• If only I’d gotten another hour’s sleep…
• Cactus?
• ¿Y entonces?
• This is hilarious!
• [random Groucho Marx quote]

SIX things you do before you fall asleep:

• Check email.
• Pet the nearby cats.
• Set the alarm, if necessary.
• Visit the restroom.
• Ditch clothing.
• Meditate.

FIVE things that frustrate you:

• The current administration.
• Financial concerns.
• Certain family members.
• Distances between myself and people important to me.
• Feeling like I can’t help things as much as I want.

FOUR things you love to do on rainy days:

• Listen to the rain drumming on the roof above me.
• Watch the rain through the window.
• Sit outside and enjoy the rain.
• Hope it turns into a thunderstorm.

THREE biggest turn-ons:

• Mutual laughter.
• A great smile.
• Sparkly eyes.

TWO things to do before you die:

• Travel more.
• Redesign my damn website.

ONE confession:

• 2008 may have been the roughest year of my entire adult life, but for me the good parts were beyond awesome enough to outshine all the crap.

Her Royal Nixie Tube arrived last night and is spending the week. Super happy fun New Years girlfriend time GO!

This week’s Off the Hook should be interesting. Unlike last week’s installment, which was a pre-recorded highlight reel since everyone was off doing holiday things, we’re doing this one live on New Years Eve.

Eartha Kitt passed away today.

Here’s an autographed photo she gave to my late grandfather, during his stint as an usher in New York City movie palace. It was always one of his favorite mementos (he thought she was hot stuff, and I’m inclined to agree) and it’s one of my favorite mementos of him.

I’ve long had the idea in the back of my mind to take this photo to an appearance of hers, thank her on his behalf, and ask her to re-autograph it for me. Shame I can’t do that now, it’d have been really neat.

Last night mom and I visited my sister Jo and her family. I got to play with my nephew Liam for a while. He is really too awesome for words. He’s really calm and amiable for the most part, but when he did get cranky I took great pleasure in the uncle’s prerogative – giving him back to his mom to deal with. Good times.

I gave them a painting I did inspired by the first day I saw Liam, some hours after his birth. They put it up in his room. Yay!

Christmas afternoon was spent watching I Am Legend with my mom. Nothing says family bonding like a post-apocalyptic zombie movie.

Thanks to the magic of inexpensive VOIP, 419 scammers have recently begun to include contact telephone numbers in their scammy emails. Here’s an example from my own inbox.

EL GORDO DE LA PRIMITIVA.
Madrid,Spain.

Your email have been lucky to have been selected among 50 Recipient of 1,200,000.00Euros. each by EL GORDO DE LA PRIMITIVA ANNUAL PROMOTION. For further inquiry, please Contact our claim desk with your mobile number home, and office numbers immediately.

Claim Department:
FOREIGN TRANSFER MANAGER -
Dr.Robert Brook
TEL:+34 675 356 263 . <– OH EXPLOITABLE!
Email: elgprim@luckymail.com
Email: gawnnardesk@googlemail.com

Your`s Sincerely,
Mrs.Maria Jose Pedro

To the severely uninformed, the actual chance to call up a human and talk to him adds a layer of authenticity to the whole transaction, and increases the chance that they’ll fall for the scam.

To the informed and mischievous, it provides a way to bust some chops and waste the time of the folks responsible for clogging your inbox with crap. Thanks to the time zones, it’s also terribly easy to call when it is, for them, an ungodly hour of the early AM, and get them out of bed in order to try and hook you into their evil scheme.

Naturally, thanks to that same magical cheap VOIP, prank-calling these folks has become a hobby of mine. Here’s a call to the above number I made last night while on the phone with Nicky. Thanks to her Skype recorder, we’re passing the savings onto you.

I started out using a generic stoner voice, but about a minute and a half in I decided to change into Joel from Mystery Science Theater 3000. Evidently, the scammer isn’t a MSTie.

http://thankyouforthrowingyourshoe.com

One funny thing about that site is, since part of the disrespectful gesture is showing your enemy the sole of your shoe, most of these people are showing solidarity with the Iraqi journalist by giving the same insult to all that website’s viewers.

I’m on record as saying shoe-throwing is an awesome gesture in general. My best friends growing up were a trio of mischievous brothers with whom I had most of my irresponsible childhood adventures. They were from a Muslim family of Turkish immigrants, and they taught me the meaning of shoe-throwing and sole-showing very early on. I’m pretty happy the gesture has now hit the big time.

Someone left a box of weird European chocolates out in the office; a business gift from some business people of business or something.

I grabbed one because free chocolate is usually full of win, but this one turned out to be full of liqueur. This was not a fun thing for me to find out by surprise; I’m teetotal, and alcohol in any form makes me gag. The smell alone is often enough to throw me a constitution penalty, let alone an unexpected syrupy mouthful. In the words of the great philosopher Algar, I think I’m gonna hurl.

Who leaves boozy candy in a corporate office? SRS BZNS. >:-[

Meme yoinked from her royal Nixitude.

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing. [or, the first two lines, if the first line is absurdly short.]
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly in the comments.

01. So drop your hesitation and come with me – Information Society – “Come With Me” (kat)
02. Yah yah yah, yah yah, yah yah yah, yah yah – Busta Rhymes – “Woo Hah! Got You All In Check” (Johnny Monoxide)
03. Got my mojo working, but it just won’t work on you
04. Has he lost his mind
05. Smile, I’ma blow a hole in yo neck
06. I’ll take back my piñata, it’s wasted on you
07. Step right up, march, push – Nine Inch Nails – “March of the Pigs” (murd0c)
08. How do you let someone know if your hotcakes are selling well – Bloodhound Gang – “This Is Stupid” (murd0c)
09. Take me, aha, take me, aha aha
10. Send this song to twenty people
11. Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee – Grease – “Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee” – Jenn
12. Woo-oo! Woo-oo! – Blur – “Song 2″ (nicky)
13. We believe in maximum effect
14. Who’s going next, I’m dying to see
15. Dear Andre, what a splendid party
16. You are my favorite movie star – Wesley Willis – “Arnold Schwarzenegger” (nicky)
17. This is a song that I’m gonna rap about, and sing about – Wesley Willis – “He’s Doing Time in Jail” (nicky)
18. Speak my mind just to reach your mind
19. Your daddy was thieving in my car – Wesley Willis – “I Killed Your Daddy Yesterday” (nicky)
20. Er war ein Punker und er lebte in der großen Stadt – Falco – “Rock Me Amadeus” (murd0c)

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead

I think I must see this film.

This is terribly interesting. YouTube is blocked at my day job, though, so I can’t follow up on it yet. Anyone have more info?

(via bludstone @ wtf_inc)

While this blog started in October 2004, I’ve actually been blogging since October of 2002. My old blog, which ran back while I was hosted on the original Kracked.com and later Phonelosers.org, took the form of static HTML pages I coded by hand and added to the top of whenever I wanted to “post.” “Comments” were emails people sent me, which I pasted into the posts.

I’ve been re-reading those old posts of mine and think there’s actually some mildly interesting stuff in there among all the junk that was floating around in my life back then. So, in the interests of dubious historical value as well as a mild desire to keep things in one place, I’m going to begin importing those old posts into this blog, back-dated to the original posting times and dates. If you’re curious, check out the archives dated earlier than October 2004 in the blog’s sidebar.

Apologies in advance if it does anything weird to my RSS feed!

I’ve also been adding some comments here and there to my own old posts as I look back.

EDIT: Well, I did October 2002 through June 2003 all in a row. That was long and boring. The rest will probably get done in shorter bursts.

EDIT EDIT: Just finished out 2003. Weird times.

Today Fina and I went to the hospital to see our sister and brother-in-law (and new proud parents) Jo and Eric.

Everyone’s doing great. I got to hold my new nephew for a bit. He is awesome!

I hope I turn out to be a cool uncle.

Welcome to the world, Liam!

Swiped from all over the Livejournalosphere:

Look at the posts you’ve made in the past year, and paste the first line of the first post of each month.

January: Happy Twenty-oh-wait!

February: So this is what being busier than normally allowed by sanity and physics is like.

March: I was recently asked by my lovely friend Mara to record a voice mail greeting for her business.

April: I smiled sadly.

May: Stolen from everyone’s Livejournal..

June: Back on May 14, Governor Paterson announced that New York must recognize same-sex marriages which have been performed in Massachusetts, Canada, and other places where it’s legal to do so.

July: Ain’t It Cool News reports that a complete print of Fritz Lang’s Metropolis has turned up in Buenos Aires.

August: A short “best of” from the PLA panel at The Last HOPE has been posted to Youtube. Enjoy ten minutes of universal love and understanding here.

September: I’ve never properly written up my version of the “where I was/who I lost/how I felt/etc.” stories everyone who was around seven years ago has, and I doubt I ever will.

October: Someone is putting on a steampunk version of Shakespeares’ Twelfth Night.

November: Her Nickyness has spoiled my epic plans to sneak into Shmoocon 2009, by acquiring a pair of actual tickets for us.

December: Some things Nicky and I did during my trip to Chicago, in randomly nonsensical order