Rob's blog of posts

You may be aware that I’ve recently begun prank calling 419 scammers who send me spam.

The other night, for a phone call to a scammer in the Benin Republic, I decided to whip out my impression of K-9, the faithful robot dog from Doctor Who and associated spinoffs.

It went pretty well; I’ve done lots of improv as the character (usually in the context of fic-writing and RPG campaigns) and my vocal impression ranges from passable with accent fail to surprisingly good actually. So K-9 was pretty true to K-9, and the scammer was appropriately confused.

However, I did not expect the call to go on for 45 freaking minutes. By the end I was just trying anything to get him to hang up on me without breaking character. It turns out that scammers are remarkably like customer service people; they really, really don’t want to hang up on you for anything, even when they’re bitching you out for daring to call them a scammer, and then repeating their scam pitch yet again.

I debated putting this call online since it’s such a monster, but Nicky convinced me with her debating powers. So, if you’re so inclined and you’ve a clear schedule, you can check it out here. (45 MB mp3) You can hear more and more mute spots in my side of the convo as the call goes on; that’s where I had to click off my mic and laugh my head off until I collapsed into coughing fits.

If you are in the Denver, Colorado area, you’re free the evening of February 3, and you can get dressed up like you’re headed out to a goth/industrial club, a friend of mine needs you to be in his film. Check out SORPFilms.net for the details!

After a family visit to the Lincoln Memorial, which has Lincoln’s second inaugural address inscribed on its walls, Obama’s 10-year-old daughter, Malia, turned her father and said, “First African-American president — better be good.”

(via CNN)

You can buy a decent professional-grade microphone for $100 or less. You can buy a good broadcast-quality digital audio recorder for about the same price.

So why the crap does a simple combination of the two cost from $1-1.5 K? Someone’s making a pile.

There’s got to be a way to just hack together a cheaper mic and flash recorder off the shelf into a self-contained unit.

/me adds that to the list of projects I hope to accomplish someday but secretly hope someone more capable does before me and shares the how-to, hint-hint.

Cheese and rice, this is unbelievable.

Federal tax dollars are going to clowns… literally. CLOWNS.

“Having sex before you are married is just like juggling machetes!”

“Sex before marriage will destroy all of your life’s dreams!”

Check out this must-see video of Dye at work in a middle school classroom

I was a pretty troubled and confused individual in middle school, and even I had enough self-possession to know sanctimonious bullshit like this when I smelled it.

You may be aware that I’m something of a clown myself. And by the power apparently vested in me as a clown to force my personal moral beliefs upon the masses, I hereby urge any and all of you out there to learn all you can and then make your own educated, responsible life decisions no matter what federally-funded claptrap gets thrown at you.

Now where’s my fat government check?

(via wtf_inc)

A quick blurb for the good folks at the Cowtown Computer Congress, Kansas City’s hacker space..

In order to raise funds to secure their new place, CCCKC have set up a raffle. The prize will rise in value the more tickets they sell. If they sell at least half of their 200 tickets, the prize will be a brand new 2.4Ghz aluminum MacBook, with free shipping anywhere.

Check out the details and buy tickets here on CCCKC’s website.

(via NYC Resistor)

Meme from teh Nix…

Rules:
*Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
*Turn to page 56.
*Find the fifth sentence.
*Post that sentence along with these instructions in your blog.
*Don’t dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.

“I had broken my bottle and cut myself on the glass.” — Penn & Teller’s How to Play in Traffic

DWNY is cool. I shall have to hang out with these folks more often.

Sad news.. Patrick McGoohan has passed away.

A login screen at my job helpfully states, and I quote: “Unauthorized access to this system is not permitted.”

I’m really bummed out by the news that 70/30 Productions has closed its doors.

The why and how can be read in this message thread; scroll through and read the violet-lettered posts by Nikki_D for the story as we know it so far.

Those of you who have witnessed one or more of my rants on the state of modern commercial television in America know I’m no fan, but 70/30 and Adult Swim were always something I pointed to as an example of how it could all be done right. These people managed to get a TV-B-Gone-wielding, culture-jamming, television-not-owning snob like me enthused enough about a commercial TV show to do a freaking fansite about it. I assure you, that was no easy task on their part; imagine getting the most annoying vegetarian you know to plug a steakhouse.

The 70/30 guys were always really good to me back when I ran Pod-Six, which I put up in tribute to their show Sealab 2021. They let me interview them, gave me inside scoops on upcoming stuff, and basically were awesome in their support of my webby pride and joy whilst many other television producers still hadn’t figured out what to do with a fansite beyond sue it for copyright infringement. After Sealab and Pod-Six ended, they continued to be just as awesome for the good folks at Adult Swim Central, Frisky Dingo Central, and other fan media. Some of those guys remain Internet pals of mine to this day. All of them remain high in my esteem.

Matt Thompson, Adam Reed, Christian Danley, Neal Holman, Mack Williams, Casey Willis, Ed Mundy, Eric Sims, and the rest of the 70/30 alumni are some extraordinarily talented and brilliant people, and I am certain we have not heard the last of any of them. I’m very much looking forward to whatever they do next.

Best wishes, folks. Thanks again for everything!

One side-effect of having this massive case of cooties is that I’ve nothing better to do than catch up on various watchable things. I’ve been going through my collections of classic Doctor Who, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and Beavis and Butt-Head episodes as though it were going out of style.

There are also movies. Yesterday I found myself watching The Wizard. This was the first time I had seen that film since I saw it in the theater. It was a memorable experience not only because I was a 12-year-old Nintendo disciple ready to absorb the 90-minute commercial disguised as a feature film, but because I was on my first date.

Her name was Shannon, and she was the sister of my best pal Richie. She was about my age, he was a year or so older, and the three of us were already a merry band of mischief-makers at the time. I was always crashing at their place before or after days of riding bikes around town and engaging in various destructive and irresponsible activities, often involving breaking things and/or fire. The old chestnut about girls maturing faster than boys proved true; it was actually her that asked me out.

So anyway, Shannon and I went on a double-date with Richie and his girlfriend Natalie. We went to the mall, saw The Wizard, did some shopping, and ran around goofing on mall employees and security until they eventually threw us out. It was pretty much our standard behavior, except this time I paid for her snacks and we sometimes held each others hands. Afterward we all went back to their place and played Nintendo all night.

Shut up, it was awesome!

We had one more date at some other movie before their family had to move away, but it wasn’t as memorable. At any rate, I didn’t go on another actual date with anyone until I was 18 and out of school.

I realized re-watching The Wizard for the first time that yes, it is a pretty awful movie now. In all honesty I guess it always was, but perhaps it didn’t matter back then; the context made up for it.

And I’ll still school the hell out of any of you at Super Mario Bros. 3.

Would anyone out there happen to be looking for temporary work as a legal assistant, in or around Great Neck, Long Island?

You’d be serving as the temp replacement for the cousin of a friend of mine, who is due any day to have a baby and go on maternity leave. The replacement she had lined up unexpectedly quit without notice.

If anyone is interested in learning more about the gig, get in touch with me and I shall pass along your info right away.